I'm not grieving for my tormentors

When I think back on my childhood, I realize that it was far from perfect. 

I was bullied, teased, and tormented by my peers daily, abused, neglected, betrayed, taken advantage of and manipulated by family, those who above all things should have shown me Love and care.

I was made to feel small, insignificant, and unworthy. 

The pain and scars from those experiences have stayed with me for years, but as I have grown older, I have come to a realization - I am not grieving for my tormentors.

At first, this may seem like a controversial statement.

After all, shouldn't I feel some sort of anger or resentment towards those who made my life a living hell? 

Shouldn't I want to seek revenge or at least demand an apology?

But the truth is, I have moved on from that part of my life and I have no desire to dwell on it any longer.

You see, I have come to understand that those who tormented me were dealing with their issues and insecurities.

They were projecting their pain onto me because they didn't know how to deal with it themselves.

In a way, they were also victims of their circumstances.

But that doesn't excuse their actions. It doesn't make what they did to me any less hurtful or damaging. 

However, holding onto anger and resentment towards them only harms me.

It keeps me stuck in the past and prevents me from moving forward and living a happy, fulfilling life.

I chose to focus on the positive aspects of my life instead - the friends and family who stood by me, the teachers who showed me kindness, and the experiences that have shaped me into the person I am today. 

I refuse to let my tormentors have any power over me.

Furthermore, I have come to realize that holding onto anger and resentment toward my tormentors only perpetuates the cycle of negativity.

By forgiving them and letting go, I am breaking that cycle and choosing to spread love and kindness instead.

Of course, this is not to say that I condone their actions or that I have completely forgotten the pain they caused me.

But I have learned to let go of the negative emotions and focus on the present.

I have learned to be grateful for the lessons I have learned and the strength I have gained from those experiences.

In the end, I am not grieving for my tormentors. 

I am choosing to move on and focus on the positive aspects of my life. 

I am choosing to forgive and let go, not for their sake, but for my well-being. 

And that, to me, is the ultimate form of healing and empowerment.

I've cleansed my heart of the filth that was once placed in it.

Genuinely and wholeheartedly, I forgive them, I released them and I send them Love, and that is enough for me.

As for me, i've also forgiven myself, and I'm at peace with myself because that's how and when the healing begins.