There’s a painful truth many people aren’t ready to face, marriage doesn’t heal broken people, and babies don’t save broken relationships.
But it’s a truth that needs to be said because too many lives are being built on illusions and unwise thinking.
Some individuals walk into marriage hoping it will be a cure for their inner wounds, they carry pain from childhood, unresolved trauma, rejection, abandonment, and abuse, burdens they’ve never truly faced or healed from.
They believe that saying "I do" will magically reset the pain, give them security, or erase the damage done.
But no partner, no matter how loving, can fill the void created by years of unaddressed hurt.
The same illusion carries into relationships on the verge of collapse.
Couples who argue constantly, cheat on each other, disrespect one another, or suffer emotional or physical abuse suddenly think, “Maybe a baby will bring us closer.”
They believe the presence of a child will inspire change, force commitment, or reignite love.
But bringing an innocent soul into a toxic environment isn't healing, it's damaging.
Children are not therapy.
They’re not tools, they are whole human beings who deserve peace, love, and stability.
Using them as emotional glue only creates another generation of brokenness.
The reality is, that healing is an inside job, no title, no ring, no baby can do the work that you need to do within yourself.
Healing means sitting with your pain, confronting your past, seeking therapy, learning your patterns, unlearning your dysfunction, and committing to growth.
It’s hard work, it’s uncomfortable, but it’s necessary.
When we avoid healing and dive headfirst into relationships or marriages, we end up dragging another person into our chaos.
And when we selfishly bring a child into the middle of that chaos, we’re not just hurting ourselves anymore, we’re shaping someone else’s life with our pain.
Marriage is not a hospital, parenting is not a form of therapy.
These are sacred responsibilities that require wholeness, intention, and love, not desperation, escapism, or fantasy.
If you’re hurting, permit yourself to heal before trying to commit to someone else.
If your relationship is falling apart, don’t put a child on the frontlines of that war.
Real love, whether it’s for a partner or a child, starts with loving yourself enough to be whole first.
You deserve healing. And so do the people you claim to love.
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